I refused to be one of those people who criticized – or even commented too much – on Sheryl Sandberg’s new book, Lean In: Women, Work and the Will to Lead, until I’d read it. Since my week included client crises, a non-profit board meeting, tap and drum lessons and oh yes, recovering from the hour we lost to Daylight Savings Time, I didn’t even pull it up on my iPad until late Thursday. I was pleasantly surprised to find many things I agreed with, yet often in the next paragraph I’d find something very wrong. Here are four of those Right/Wrong pairs.
1. RIGHT: Subconscious bias is at the heart of the problem.
“…research has already clearly shown: success and likeability are positively correlated for men and negatively correlated for women. … I believe this bias is at the very core of why women are held back.”
Yes! Sandberg shines a light on the important research on implicit bias related to women and mothers. The challenge today is to help good people understand that they too act based on biases of which they have no conscious awareness.
WRONG: Asking women to challenge subconscious bias but giving up on the idea that we could also change processes and structures to mitigate for it. (more…)
Young women and couples watch as friends have children, and see new mothers and fathers completely stressed out juggling work and family, marriages unraveling, bank accounts strained, careers derailed, and hobbies and exercise and sleep and friends pushed aside. They wonder if they really want to sign up for that.
Couples that already have one small child ask me a different question, “Can we afford to have another child at all?” They know from experience what having a child means, and they are thoughtfully and fretfully adding up the childcare, the bigger house, the college education, and the possibility that a second child will be the straw that breaks the back of at least one of their careers and thinking the math just doesn’t make sense. They want me to double check their calculations.
In a big sisterly way, I tell these women and men to consider an option they probably haven’t – have one child. (more…)
Share the action you’ll be taking in the next 7 days as a comment at the end of this post or over on my Facebook page.
Warmth and Competence
Apple, Facebook add coverage for egg-freezing to benefit plans, report says http://t.co/8oBw8NhXSW Apple, Facebook add coverage for egg-freezing to benefit plans, report says http://t.co/8oBw8NhXSW
— Los Angeles Times (@latimes) October 14, 2014
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I’ll be speaking in my hometown, Mankato MN, for the YWCA Mankato Women’s Leadership Conference on November 5th and 6th!
Early Bird registration closes this Friday October 10 so if you are in the area, register today!
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Both men and women rank sharing household chores as the third most important ingredient in our recipe for a successful marriage, right behind faithfulness and good sex. Yet the latest data tells us that in dual-earner couples, mom is still doing more housework and more childcare than dad does. Surprisingly, when [...]Continue Reading →
Then we started watching Jamie Oliver’s Food Revolution on TV when they were filming in Los Angeles. Jamie is a British chef who’s on a crusade to save America’s health by changing the way people eat. In the process he provides [...]Continue Reading →
In the New York Times piece “Till Death, or 20 Years, Do Us Part” Matt Richtel explores the meaning of marriage today, including proposals in Mexico City to create short-term renewable marriage contracts as brief as two years as a way to deal with how many marriages fail. Me, I’m not a fan [...]Continue Reading →
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